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| Remembering winter 2013-14. Tres Bon, it's over!!! |
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Insomnia & Techniques for Relaxing Sleep
What's the best-kept secret for going 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night!
For about a year, I tossed and turned with debilitating insomnia. Restful sleep was an unattainable treasure. Maybe hormones or stress were the culprits. I learned that insomnia is a vicious cycle, and to stop the cycle takes intentional work.
Sleep is required for renewal, health, beauty, and mental focus. To first take care of myself in this critical aspect, and be alert for my family's sake, is more satisfying than tres bon chocolate dessert. In the middle of a restless night, with job duties just hours away, feelings of desperation grow. Deep sleep seems ever elusive. Those with insomnia know this, all too well.
The suggestions below are harmless, use no addictive medications, and who knows? One might be helpful in one's search for relaxation. Items 1-7 definitely continue to help me, but each person's sleep challenges are different, and a visit to the doctor might be warranted.
The link above works on my laptop computer, but not on my tablet. Here is an alternate way to hopefully link to the PG-rated YouTube video which I renamed: ASMR Disney Style . You may prefer to preview it during the day and skip the video's first and last 2 minutes.
Wishing fairy tales with dreams-come-true AND sweet dreams.
For about a year, I tossed and turned with debilitating insomnia. Restful sleep was an unattainable treasure. Maybe hormones or stress were the culprits. I learned that insomnia is a vicious cycle, and to stop the cycle takes intentional work.
Sleep is required for renewal, health, beauty, and mental focus. To first take care of myself in this critical aspect, and be alert for my family's sake, is more satisfying than tres bon chocolate dessert. In the middle of a restless night, with job duties just hours away, feelings of desperation grow. Deep sleep seems ever elusive. Those with insomnia know this, all too well.
The suggestions below are harmless, use no addictive medications, and who knows? One might be helpful in one's search for relaxation. Items 1-7 definitely continue to help me, but each person's sleep challenges are different, and a visit to the doctor might be warranted.
- No caffeine after 2:00 p.m. Even decaf tea and coffee contain enough caffeine to keep me awake if I drink it early evening.
- Vitamin D-3 is a restful and needed supplement. About 45 minutes to an hour before bedtime, I take a sublingual tablet under the tongue for 5-10 minutes (and then I spit it out because of odd intolerance issues); you can most likely swallow it.
- Allergies are night-time nasal irritants, so before bedtime spray ordinary, (non-addictive), nasal saline solution and blow your nose (yes, I do this) and sometimes include allergy medication, depending on the allergy symptoms.
- Drink a small glass of milk before bedtime (almond milk works, too). And/or, earlier in the evening eat 1 to 2 tablespoons of protein-packed peanut butter (it helps with night-time blood sugar spikes).
- Unexpected 2 a.m. mystery wide-awakening? It could be adrenaline-boomerang, causing wakeful inflammation. Try Ibuprofen or aspirin (with a couple of crackers to protect your stomach). OR, here's a link to something I've not yet tried, but it makes sense: Essential Oils natural sleep remedy
- Wear a sleep mask. It blocks out any disturbing light
sources (from alarm clocks or the hallway). Light interrupts sensitive menopausal body clocks.
Sleep mask re-enactment... ahhhh! - Read a book on a tablet with the bedroom lights off. Set your tablet's theme to a dark background with white letters. The idea is to lower all lighting to softly communicate to your body "It's bed time." Bright lights and even the TV can interrupt the body clock.
- This suggestion is a bit different and is an alternative to reading a book. I've not personally needed this measure, but did try it. A new approach to sleep therapy is geared to ASMR ("Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, an uncommon neuro-physiological phenomenon which causes unique 'tingling' sensations under very specific circumstances" Wikipedia).
Mainly what I decipher from this idea is that brain areas from childhood are unlocked. Possibly whispers of Mom rocking you to sleep relax areas of the mind. I did not feel hypnotized, but distracted. Maybe absolute boredom settles the brain enough for sleep!
Viewing a vintage Bob Ross painting segment is ideal because his voice quality is mellow, and his crazy hair is quite distracting, too. The sound of paint brush strokes, combined with viewing nature slowly and gently unfolding, do the trick. Below is the 30-minute restful YouTube ASMR that I viewed and listened to with earphones on for the unusual ear-2-ear effect.
The results? I did experience one, random and odd, rear-left brain tingle... so weird. I slept well; but, need to test it another time when a day's stress and adrenaline are higher. The video provides whispered Disney trivia to view at bedtime and includes The Jungle Book's unusual tie to The Beatles.
If the video hasn't loaded, click the Internet tab's reload symbol or click the blue link in the paragraph below.
The link above works on my laptop computer, but not on my tablet. Here is an alternate way to hopefully link to the PG-rated YouTube video which I renamed: ASMR Disney Style . You may prefer to preview it during the day and skip the video's first and last 2 minutes.
Wishing fairy tales with dreams-come-true AND sweet dreams.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul (Psalm 23). Tres Bon.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
The Domed
A huge, mysterious and hidden border covers, and it also surrounds. It resembles an upside-down rounded fish bowl. Every so often a glimpse of the protective field appears. It is quite an extraordinary force field, and forever high.
The domed roam, to acquire food and necessities, and are basically hostages. They are captive to a world which is outside of their control. Storms and other calamities are prevalent. The weak and odd have difficulty coping. Escape is only through the forever high sky.
Powerful entities are located outside of the dome (or bowl). They can remove items or drop them inside. From time to time food treats, essentials and treasures are gifted, funded anonymously. An item drops into the lap of, or in the vicinity of, the grateful gift receiver. Gifts provide tres bon bread for sustenance, ointments for healing, and even helpful subliminal messages.
Alliances are critical. Even total opposites work together. It is necessary for survival against those desiring, at all cost, to "win." Close relationships are possible and extra beneficial inside the dome.
This scenario somewhat resembles the Hunger Games' arena, (a survival-like stadium in the popular 2008 science fiction novel by the American writer Suzanne Collins, and a big-screen movie). But the dome I describe holds billions of people. We are in a dome, semi-hostage to work, our hungry stomachs, and daily routines.
I am a believer and a worshipper. From time to time, calamities and crises arise, yet so do blessings, and beauty, and love. The One in whom I believe selectively intervenes in the "dome" with gifts for special needs, and He cares, even about social obligations.
During one happy social event, precious and needed wedding wine embarrassingly runs out. Jesus miraculously turns water into liquid grapes or choicest wine (John 2). His first public miracle is thrown into His lap, at a love-feast. Jewish marriage ceremonies are festive, with the essence of love.
That's when, quietly and behind-the-scenes, He steps in and orchestrates the rest. Down to the last perfectly amazing detail. Jesus resourcefully says to fill 6 empty 20-gallon stone water jars with water, and turns the contents into wine. Choicest wine. He is, after all, perfectly powerful, and perfectly loving.
I am no hostage to random events, like crises and "wine-fail." I attempt to acquiesce, to God's will, in the details of my comparably ordinary little world. I strive for a hope-filled mindset, desiring outcomes, gifts, and specifics to be played out His way. I am learning to trust His love.
On another rapturous note. One day this swooning bride might be willingly scooped from this domed world, by that same Miracle-worker. The ultimate Bridegroom (Matthew 25).
The domed roam, to acquire food and necessities, and are basically hostages. They are captive to a world which is outside of their control. Storms and other calamities are prevalent. The weak and odd have difficulty coping. Escape is only through the forever high sky.
Powerful entities are located outside of the dome (or bowl). They can remove items or drop them inside. From time to time food treats, essentials and treasures are gifted, funded anonymously. An item drops into the lap of, or in the vicinity of, the grateful gift receiver. Gifts provide tres bon bread for sustenance, ointments for healing, and even helpful subliminal messages.
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| Hostage or worshipper? |
Alliances are critical. Even total opposites work together. It is necessary for survival against those desiring, at all cost, to "win." Close relationships are possible and extra beneficial inside the dome.
This scenario somewhat resembles the Hunger Games' arena, (a survival-like stadium in the popular 2008 science fiction novel by the American writer Suzanne Collins, and a big-screen movie). But the dome I describe holds billions of people. We are in a dome, semi-hostage to work, our hungry stomachs, and daily routines.
I am a believer and a worshipper. From time to time, calamities and crises arise, yet so do blessings, and beauty, and love. The One in whom I believe selectively intervenes in the "dome" with gifts for special needs, and He cares, even about social obligations.
During one happy social event, precious and needed wedding wine embarrassingly runs out. Jesus miraculously turns water into liquid grapes or choicest wine (John 2). His first public miracle is thrown into His lap, at a love-feast. Jewish marriage ceremonies are festive, with the essence of love.
That's when, quietly and behind-the-scenes, He steps in and orchestrates the rest. Down to the last perfectly amazing detail. Jesus resourcefully says to fill 6 empty 20-gallon stone water jars with water, and turns the contents into wine. Choicest wine. He is, after all, perfectly powerful, and perfectly loving.
I am no hostage to random events, like crises and "wine-fail." I attempt to acquiesce, to God's will, in the details of my comparably ordinary little world. I strive for a hope-filled mindset, desiring outcomes, gifts, and specifics to be played out His way. I am learning to trust His love.
On another rapturous note. One day this swooning bride might be willingly scooped from this domed world, by that same Miracle-worker. The ultimate Bridegroom (Matthew 25).
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| ♥ Domed, but not doomed ♥ |
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Domed, the Poem
To see but not quite perceive
And hear, but with haziness
To experience, in a dome. But doomed? No.
Going through each day
With little deep understanding of why.
Surviving, completing projects, and fanciful to-do's
Quite clueless as to why.
Abject? And then,
Abject? And then,
That's when...
Look high. Let's try
To sense extraordinary
♥ passion ♥
displayed in the
effervescent,
luminous
sky.
Look high. Let's try
To sense extraordinary
♥ passion ♥
displayed in the
effervescent,
luminous
sky.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even.as.also.I.am.known (1 Corinthians 13:12).
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Fright Factor & Living Dead
Rated PG-13, mainly for the "Fright Factor" photo below.
April 1, 2006, after 24 hours in the hospital, with regular nurse pokes and the overnight roomie-from-hell (moaning and flinging fluids, with just a meager curtain dangling between us), I survived my surgery and that scary night. I awoke with two less body parts intact (not to mention lots of pain). That was merely the continuation of a myriad of terror.
"If this type of cancer returns, it will be voracious and most likely take your life" (frightening words from my oncologist).
Keeping one of "the girls" was an option (I still miss them, to this day), but why not be balanced? It was only later I discovered, when meeting with the oncologist, it was the best decision of my life. Fortunately, "the girls" were expendable, and my sentinel node was cancer-free. Eight years later, April Fool, I'm still alive.
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| Frightening!! |
Maybe I was terrorized by the ominous, potentially boomeranging (HR2 Neu -positive) -effect. Maybe my childhood nighttime terrors were returning (PTSD). Rather than being a helpless, 6-year-young bystander, overhearing Dad's loud door-bangs and slurred accusations at Mom, I was the star and active participant of this 2006 scary movie. Maybe that is why nighttime was most frightening, especially pre-surgery.
Just as in childhood, quietness was my ploy... not denial, but maybe, possibly, it was avoidance (a/k/a repression or muteness, spelled mildly different than denial). Quietness somewhat separated me from the "Big C." Like closing my eyes during a frightening, 24/7 movie scene. I was experiencing the movie, but invisibly.
Terror didn't immobilize me. Being an active participant in decision-making was empowering. Physical activities like chopping off my own disintegrating hair, continuing moderate power-walks, as well as keeping my part-time job were all positive for me.
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| Bejeweled flusher! Today, no plunger needed |
Mentally visiting my
funeral was a divergent activity. Seeing my adult children's sorrow and pain caused literal heart palpitations. Yet, it was amazingly freeing to face physical mortality. I had one less fear to unsuccessfully plunge into the overflowing sewer of terror.
So, what about my voice?
I was physically active and journaled cancer events, but few feelings were verbalized. Delving into slimy depths was rare. So, I now conclude this blog with these thought-provoking questions:
- Was I living dead?
- Was it safer for me to wait 8 years to openly share and fully embrace my fright?
- Are my current emotion-embracing writings distancing me from living dead?
- Why not label this blog LivingDead 8+8 -8? [No fright, only I will take the time to figure out that scary math and other confusing ideas].
- Did only doctors (and "warrior-dom") stand between me and Caspar the ghost, OR was Savior Jesus, for some undeserved reason, actually calling the shots (Acts 10:42)?
- Why is this unemployed empty-nester alive, kicking, and still a divergent rambler about alcoholism, cancer, grandchildren, and current events?
- Tres Bon?
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Lost & Found, My Cancer Experiences Continue
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| I lost my hair, but found resourcefulness |
During the 12 months leading up to and following MY 2006 (March Madness through September Sanity) cancer battle, I lost
& found a plethora of treasures:
- I lost my treasured dog Emmitt a few months before the diagnosis, but eventually found 4 grand-dogs.
- I lost my dear 80+-year-old Dad just prior to cancer diagnosis, but found cherished memories of his hospital final breaths shared with my sister-in-law.
- I lost "the girls," but found my TOO identity.
- I lost my two children's 2006 birthdays (on April 3 & 20), but I found their birthdays again, in 2007 when they turned 24 and 27.
- I lost being an active part of my daughter's wedding plans, but found the ceremony beautifully orchestrated, on June 9, 2007.
- I lost my daughter to marriage, but found a too sterling son-in-law and superdad to our grandchildren.
- I lost my hair to chemo, but it grew back as I found quirky resourcefulness.
- I lost black-&-white certainty, that eating healthy + exercise + the "good person" (arrogance) card = no cancer; and, instead I'm still finding the helpless, deep-down reliance card, depending on Jesus.
.jpg) |
| 2012 Costa Rica Flame of the Forest Tree |
Last, (drum roll, please) and maybe least, I was lost in chemo fog. And,
8 long years later, I now may be finding my brain again, but...
...the brain morphed
& is
catching fire. Tres Bon.
April Fool! It's TWO's Day
Forgive me for over-emphasizing my experience, 8 years later ("Get over it," you might say). But, I spent 6 long years distancing myself as a cancer survivor and the terror-factor. Maybe I was afraid of the ominous, boomeranging (HR2 Neu -positive) cancer element, and quietness was my ploy to keep the big C from returning?
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